It’s Missing The Slobber-All-Over-Owner-After-Eating Step
Neatorama linked to this hilarious life algorithm for dogs that is completely and utterly true.
(Khoi being the dog owner and algorithm creator.) I’d say my dog, having eaten pretty much everything under the sun, including but not limited to dog food, dog bones, cats (will do so when they stop batting him in the face), cat hair, cat food, cat vomit, his own vomit, cat poo, cat pee, cat litter devoid of poo or pee, random berries on the ground, random plastic garbarge on the ground, cigarette butts, business cards, his tail, cereal, ice cream, birds (almost), rabbits (almost, but really wants to), small dogs (not yet, but planning on it someday), and most of his $40 foam dog bed, clearly subscribes to this sequence of thoughts.
my favorite thing so far my dog has eaten was a roach trap. poison always adds an interesting twist.
Sitting in an airport…peeing my pants.
Invariably, this Mister President chap will end up in an endless cycle of begging. I suppose that’s not so far off for some dogs… but only dogs who are not deciders.
My personal favorite was when the family dog ate my friend’s sanitary napkins, and proceeded to crap plastic for the next two days. My friend was mortified. Moral of the story: use a garbage can with a lid.
This definitely explains why my parents’ dogs love vomit.
Check. Question answered.
This is hysterical! And so true! Especially the cat poo. We had to hide all of the litter boxes to keep the dog from grazing on cat poop all day long. Cat poop doesn’t really help with his breath, either.
[...] one question still remains: My dog has an RFID chip implanted in him. Say he gets cancer. Does he eat the cancer? These are important questions, people!—about as important as why the hell a government agency [...]