This year, I initially decided to make my resolution for the new year to not resolve anything. I’m pretty happy with where my life is right now. I’m in good health and enjoying reasonable success in my young career, and I have time to pursue most of my interests inside and out of medicine and science. But, there are always things I think I’d like to improve in my life:

1. Read at least two scientific articles every day. And remember at least some of the details and/or larger ideas for more than a few hours.
2. Work out more. Much more. I’m going to need to look good in a tuxedo in a few short months.
3. Stop talking so much about iPhones, cameras, TVs, computers, and other things I desperately want but cannot possibly (nor have absolutely no business thinking I might be able to) afford. Failing this, Abbie may or may not murder my face off. Scratch that: will murder my face off.
4. Read for pleasure more. Much more. (See current reading list at right.)
5. Shave more. Much more.
6. Clean more. Much more.
7. Publish at least twice. Get funded at least once. Start writing a dissertation?
8. As always, learn as much as possible and work harder.

It’s a broad, somewhat abstract, lofty list as usual, but that’s what I want. I have a tendency to get stagnant unless I’m constantly motivating myself and being motivated by others, so despite its arbitrariness, this tends to help myself regroup in my head and refocus myself.

I’m happy to say that this year has started off much better than last year’s commencement when, if you’ll recall, this happened:

What a great start to the new year. Today was, in short, amazing soothing terrible. It started with a tire blowout halfway to the hospital, followed by 10 minutes spent changing it and getting all oily, followed almost immediately by a low rumbling sound indicating a flat spare, followed by slowly rolling into a gas station only to find that the air machine there was broken.

This, of course, was all followed by yet another debacle involving roadside service (Allstate this time). In reality, the “sixty-to-ninety minutes” three hours it took a tow truck to arrive far exceeded my expectations, but — let’s face it — that doesn’t change the fact that I was chillin’ in my car for three hours. Awesome. Then, after waiting another “hour and twenty minutes” four hours, I forked over $72 to get a new tire for my already-POS car. So worth it.

Then, 14 days later:

My car loves to play games with me. What a rascal. At the moment we’re playing one called “Let’s See How Many Times The Same Tire Can Go Flat In Two Weeks” (LSHMTTSTCGFITW for short, which is pronounced “leshemtetestackgefitewihateyou”).

You may recall, oh, 14 days ago when my right rear tire went flat, followed by the spare that I newly put on in the right rear position also going flat. Now, imagine my swearing fit joy as I drove home yesterday and began to notice a sound that faintly resembled that of repeatedly driving over a bolt that was lodged in, say (for the sake of example), my right rear tire. I got out, and lo and behold, there’s a giant bolt lodged in my right rear tire! You win again, car! What a fun game.

Does anyone know if I can just set up a direct deposit with Firestone to just automatically take out $74.72 every two weeks? If so, let me know; that would be so much more convenient.

Then, the next day:

Today, I was stuck in an elevator for nearly two hours. No computer, no iPod, no lab notebook, no journal articles. I knew I should have gone with a phone with games on it.

“HELLO?”
“Hi?” Richard Dawkins? God? Is that you?

“DID YOU TRY PUSHING THE ‘DOOR OPEN’ BUTTON?”
Seriously? “Yes.” Yes, yes I did. I pushed it several hundred times. “I tried prying the doors open too, but I’m in between floors.”

“DID YOU PUSH THE BUTTON OF THE FLOOR YOU’RE GOING TO?”
“Yes.” Yes, as a matter of fact I did that about two hours ago. Dude, I’m so good, I even pushed those of the floors I’m NOT going to.

“WHO DID YOU TALK TO OVER THE INTERCOM? LIKE WHAT WAS THEIR NAME AND STUFF?”
“I didn’t. The speaker doesn’t work. I’ve just been holding the alarm button for a few…hours.” Um, do you think it would be possible to send someone competent else to get me out of here?

It was a pretty good day.

Then, 11 days later:

Car battery died or something. I know what you’re thinking, and the answer is no, a US government Humvee didn’t run over it. It’s time to go, Jetta. I’m throwing you out. I’ve spent $200 on you in the last three weeks, and all you do is hate me. That’s like a third of an iPhone! I like Smarts better anyway, jerk. I’d rather have my penis cut off by a stressed Romanian surgeon(!) than pay anything more for your own shortcomings.

Anyone know of a good junkyard in Chicago? Or someone really dumb who’s looking to buy a “mint-condition” car?

Don’t mind the iPhone mention. That was so last year. I miss having a car terribly, but not that much. Here’s to a good 2008!