I got a parking ticket yesterday for parking “too close to a stop sign.” Thanks, Officer, for the constructive, precise feedback on my parking shortcomings. I’ll try to park farther away next time. It’s nice that they have yellow sidewalk markings to tell people how close is too close and how far is far enough, but they really should make them heated too since they’re a little hard to see with 2-4 inches of snow covering them (and growing). Also, it would be nice if anywhere in Hyde Park had any yellow paint remaining in the first place. You know, wouldn’t want to be “too close” again.

I’ll add that to the list of no-no’s, which includes “don’t do that” and “I don’t know whether what you did is illegal or not—I’ve done it a million times myself, including like 30 seconds ago—but just pay up and I’ll be on my way.”

Fittingly, the officer was with the Dept. of Revenue. (Aren’t they all?) At least Graham won this battle of “who can give all of their money away to the Chicago Police Department first.”