I went ahead and updated my website. The old one was getting a bit tired, and I had originally designed it to match my weblog’s theme at the time, which I changed quite a while ago amid scandal, persecution, and accusations of potential homosexuality. Let me know what you think of the whiteness.

Nine people were shot last night alone in Chicago. This is getting frustrating. I don’t know if people are ever going to stop shooting other people as long as they have ridiculously easy access to guns. No, the violence wouldn’t end, but it’s pretty hard to kill someone in a drive-by stabbing (or batting, or hammer-tossing, or karateing).

At 7:30 p.m. Wednesday, a son, who may live in Indiana, shot his father in both thighs at the father’s home in the 5500 block of South Loomis Boulevard after a domestic argument, according to the Englewood District police lieutenant.

I’m speechless about this.

This is hilarious—people coming up with fake, random names to give the baristas at Starbucks, simply for the pleasure of hearing them screamed out into public upon completion of the drink. My latte names in the past (not at Starbucks, but at fine institutions in central Illinois) have been Helmut, Franko, and Rutherfords, but Helmut is still my fave.

[via ylnt]

Another title for a potential review down the road: “Eph receptors in cancer: What the Eph is going on?”

That one would get accepted for sure on the basis of its title alone.

Got two calls today from Citibank— the people who send me paper mail to notify me of my status as an enrollee in their all-electronic program—asking me whether I’d like to pay off my balance now, over the phone.

Me: “Umm…I’m not quite sure why you’re asking. I typically pay online after I’ve received the bill, and I haven’t received the bill yet. Do you know when the billing cycle ends?”
Them: [Pause. More pausing. Some fiddling.] “Sir, I……..I don’t know. I know we sent an email out to you on June fif—that would be…today I guess. Haven’t you received it yet?”
Me: “No.”
Them: “Okay, well would you like to pay your balance then?”
Me: “No thank you. I’ll just pay it online the moment I get the bill like I’ve done for the last three years now.”
Them: “It’s only $61.62…”
Me: “No, again, I’m going to pay it online once I receive the bill, and that isn’t even close to the full amount on the card.”
Them: “Right, it looks like you’re showing a total balance of……..” [Pause. More pausing. Some more fiddling.]
Me: “…$482.62.”
Them: [Shuffling papers. Possible removal of the earpiece and side conversation with coworker.] “$482.62? Yes, of course, $482.62. So would you like to pay the $61.62 now then over the phone?”
Me: “Is it due today or something? Why are you calling me??”
Them: “No sir, it’s due June 24th.”
Me: “Okay then, I will pay it when I receive the bill.”
Them: “No problem, sir. I will note that in your account. Would you also like to sign up for our no-interest-for-six-months, cash-back—”

Click. Insanity.

Especially if you’re a minimum-wage worker in New York, where it appears that, after taxes, and assuming you smoke one pack of cigarettes for every hour you work (doesn’t everybody?), you make approximately $0 per hour.